Zub Tales

Gala put in her two weeks at her job yesterday. The situation there had become pretty unbearable and given that she’s got other opportunities (I’m pretty sure she wants to wait and see if they go through before we say anything) coming up this summer anyways, she thought she’d just cut loose from the irritation now instead of prolonging the stupidity of it.

She seemed to want to vent to the manager about the problems, but was thinking better of it. I gave her my support on saying what she felt… I mean if you’re leaving anyways, you might as well tell them where the problems lie. It’s not like they would give her a glowing letter of recommendation at that point anyways. At least you stand up for yourself and say what you feel. So she did, they stonewalled her and didn’t listen to any of her concerns. Dropping her off at school this morning, she’s ultra-super-fantastico bitter about jobs, social interaction and life in general. I tried to joke about it to help her shake off the dark spot, but that almost combusted into an argument.

It’s weird that the good things that happen to me seem to drive a wedge into my relationships. I stumble a lot, but when good things happen, they tend to be sprinting swaths of momentum. Inadvertently, it just makes her more pessimistic seeing that contrasted with her own state. It ends up destructing any positive words I offer her because “Of course, that would work out for you.” or “It’s easy for you to say that, look at your life.”

I can’t help but have an inkling that Gala’s going to find something great and kick ass at it. It’s impossible to communicate that to her because I have no evidence, just a good feeling about it. Understandably, when I say “Better times are coming, babe.” I get sighs or “Maybe for you.”. I want to be there when she really blossoms fully into the person I see in our best private moments. I want it to happen now, sooner if possible.

But she’s got too much evidence to the contrary. If I talk about bad spots I’ve been in, it’s the past… she hasn’t seen it, so it’s hard for her to imagine me as the bitter bastard that defined me before. It’s even easier to dismiss that because I was in college; we’re both 27 now and she feels like she should have more accomplished instead of just being in University now. I feel the similar feelings about how good my art should be when I see 20 year olds draw circles around me. But at least I’m in an industry I love… she doesn’t have that yet.

What zen-like platitudes can you say to that? It’s obvious that the situation is raw, and will heal over time, but it’s frustrating having no recourse right now. Frustrating for me, far more so for her.

In other Zub-News…

Called my friend I mentioned in my last post… left a message on Thursday. When she phoned my cel later on Friday, I was in the middle of teaching and we decided to try a longer call this week instead. Figures.

Had a weird and wonderful meeting on Saturday night in downtown Toronto. Haven’t decided if I’m going to talk about it in my Livejournal yet… wanted to mark it down here though so at least I can look back and remember when it happened.

More possibly later,