Zub Tales

I’ve mentioned before that I generally don’t do one-on-one critique because I don’t have time. That’s still true, but occasionally there are exceptions. I did a presentation for Seneca’s Illustration program about comics and one of the students followed up to send me their 8-page comic story project. They wanted critique that dug into where they could improve to make it professional quality and didn’t want me to hold back, so I didn’t. Here’s the feedback I gave. Some of it is specific to their story, but it also contains overall advice I would give a lot of new comic creators, so I thought I’d post it here as well:

ART:
The panel to panel storytelling is relatively clear. The lettering doesn’t feel like it fits well in many panels (which I’ll get to later), but the general storytelling makes sense and I can tell what’s happening in sequence. For many first time comic creators, that’s a problem, so it’s a good start. I’m not personally a fan of panel gutter sizes changing drastically from page to page, but that’s an aesthetic choice.

The artwork is not professional publishing quality. The backgrounds look rushed and incomplete and the perspective is inconsistent. It’s the quickest way for me to tell that the work is not yet at a pro level.

The characters work from certain angles and look rushed in others. It’s obvious you drew some panels more detailed and scaled them down, which looks odd beside thicker lines and less detail in some of the larger panels. It’s a common problem with digital drawing/coloring when you’re not consistent with sizing and scaling. Zoom in on a professional published page from an artist whose work you respect and see how much detail they put in and when they leave elements out.

The colors are quite saturated without any rhyme or reason and there’s no consistent sense of light and shadow. The powerful hues when magic is being used has some mood, which is better than completely generic colors, but the rest of the time every character is lit as if it’s neutral-flat-middle of the day without any light direction or local color creating mood or volume.

LETTERING:
The lettering is not professional. There’s general flow and I can follow the balloons in order, which is good, but generic digital ovals are not how professional balloons actually look and instantly mark the pages as amateur. Same goes for big changes in font size because you’re trying to cram more words into a space where they don’t fit. Your pages should be roughed out with the lettering already in mind, not drawn fully and then lettering getting crammed in over top. Avoid having lettering cover characters, especially heads, as much as possible. It happens in pro pages, but is avoided wherever possible.

The uppercase/crossbar letter “I” should never be used in the middle of words for comic lettering. That and other comic lettering tips to look out for can be found here:
http://www.blambot.com/articles_tips.shtml

You have spelling mistakes in your text! Again, instantly comes across as unprofessional and sloppy.

STORY:
The story is clearly a small part of something much bigger and that leaves this feeling really unsatisfying as an 8-pager. There’s a much larger back story and a world but we barely get any of it explained to us. Also, because this story is primarily told in flashback, there’s no immediate drama. There’s no sense of danger or stakes because it’s a tale being told about past events. We don’t get a sense of character personality or any feeling of why they do what they do. Huge elements of this fictional world are glossed over so two characters can tell us someone else’s story.

For a short story like this, you almost always want smaller scope and more focus. A simple idea clearly told. The more world-building and back story you have to impart, the harder it is to deliver that effectively with such a small page count.

Also, what is the story about? I don’t mean in terms of events that take place, I mean in terms of what you want the reader to feel when they’re done reading it – A theme, a core idea. In your story a pair of characters tell us about another character who kicks ass, dies, and then comes back more powerful than before. We just met these people and have no connection to any of them. Why should we care? What is this story trying to say other than “cool magic is neat” or “this character is kind of scary now”?

Story is more than just events that take place. Characters are more than just physical traits.

Okay – You read all that critique and you probably feel like crap. Here’s what’s most important: at this early stage of your creative development, it’s really important that you started and finished a project. That is crucial! The only way you can improve is by finishing work, learning from it, and then making more. Keep going and keep growing.

That’s a quick critique. I wouldn’t say that it’s kind, but it’s not meant to be insulting either. Thankfully, the student took it in the spirit I intended it and I hope their next comic story is stronger for it.